Thursday, May 31, 2012

Marriage Tips for the First Decade: Take off the Mask (Mask #1)

Mask #1: Marriage is a two-way street.  It’s give and take and there should be an equal distribution of love and respect for both parties in the marriage.  If not, then your marriage has problems.

Scripture to consider: Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord… Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:22,25, NASB)

The General Reality: I can think of two reasons why this fallacy is just plain speculation and nothing more.  First, if you have ever come home and just thought to yourself, I am so tired I just want to lay down and actually acted on it, it’s already an unfair evening.  Someone is going to have to cook dinner.  Someone is going to have to keep the kids in line (if you have kids).  Someone is going to have things on their agenda that they thought you should be part of but instead, you are now resting.  Hey, I’m not knocking a little R&R but I am saying that there is no such thing as playing fair in marriage.  There will be days where each of you gets the shaft.  Secondly, when did marriage become about equality?  I take you for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, as long as we always play fair?  Wait a minute!  Something seems a little off there.  I thought we signed up to love each other no matter what.  What part of that had specific conditions that meant fairness?  We all know that famous quote (let me rephrase it a bit): Ask not what your spouse can do for you but rather, what you can do for your spouse!  It’s a shame that most of us just don’t look at it that way because our God does!

Conversation Starters

·         What expectations do you currently have of your spouse?

Things to Try

·         When you get home from work today or before your spouse gets home from work, make an effort to do something for them that you know they love but you do not care for too much.

·         Ask your spouse to write down three things about you that they feel could improve, but do not defend yourself.

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